Someone once told me that I don't know what loss was.
But I've known loss for so long that we've become bosom buddies.
Only, I call him by a different name now, but loss never answered.
Only, I know him in a different way – a way I wish I didn't.
Someone once told me that I've never experienced true loss.
But I've been so deep into loss that it took me years to get out
Of its dark grip which I used to go into willingly,
Believing that in it, I would find solace and joy and love.
Someone once told me that I'm so blessed I will never know loss.
But I've known loss. Kissed it. Held it for the last time.
My face and heart have been cradled by it in my weakest moments,
Looked into its eyes once full of tenderness, and saw that fade away.
I've felt loss so deep, I couldn't breathe,
I've held loss so tight, I didn't want to let go.
I knew what loss was; I just called it by a different name.
Loss was always you, my love. Loss will always be you.
November 11, 2015